Monday, June 6, 2011

you too can fart like a machine gun

My sister, Pee (yes, it's her real nickname in real life), is skinny.  I am not. 

She purchased a DVD set off of an infomercial and then called to tell me that she would copy a set for me so we could do it together.  Talk about a subtle hint. 

The DVD set is called TurboFire.  I thought she was kidding.  It sounds like a type of bad diarrhea or something.

My guess is that it's kind of like P90X, which I tried a couple of times.  Banana.....superman....banana....superman.  Not for me.
I'm more like eggplant, unicorn.  (The eggplant is b/c a banana curves up at both ends and my banana roll is more like an eggplant, kind of lumpy at the bottom.  The unicorn is b/c when I try to do superman, I just lay on my stomach and point my finger out from my forehead.  Full extension is just not possible.)  If you don't know what banana & superman are, they are exercises in P90X.  Google it if you still don't get it, or just skip this little part and move on, it really isn't necessary to get what I'm trying to say.

Anyway, back to TurboFire. I really did think she was kidding when she told me what it was called.  Then one night I was watching TV and what came on but an infomercial for Ripfire.  Ripfire is a muscle building supplement.  I assume TurboFire and RipFire go together, since they both have annoying names that sound like they will make you poop your pants or fart like a machine gun.

So what I'm hearing in my head is an infomercial voice saying "you too can fart like a machine gun with Ripfire....only $19.95 plus shipping and handling."

I guess if TurboFire really did make you have some kind of crazy diarrhea, you might lose weight.  They should market it to people who hate to exercise...."Poop yourself skinny with TurboFire!  Easier than actually exercising."

I love you my sister, even if you do buy stuff off of infomercials.  When you are done with it, you can sell it on Craigslist.

No comments:

Post a Comment