Tuesday, November 29, 2011

the lawnmower incident of the mid 1980's

I have this friend, not the one who saved my life with a breastpump - another one, who has been my friend since we were born in 1976.  Let's call her Rihanna, just for kicks.  I feel I need to protect her identity for reasons which you will soon discover, so just go with the name, ok?

My sister, Pee, is 3 years younger than me.  (She's my younger and skinnier sister...but that's a story for another time.) 

Rihanna has a sister who is 2 years younger than she is. 

So there was this one time when we were kids....probably Rihanna and I were around 9 or 10 and the little sisters were around 6 or 7. 

Rihanna and her sister had a riding lawnmower that pulled a little wagon/cart behind. 

Note to parents:  Giving your child access to a riding lawnmower is not advisable.  I'm pretty sure our parents may have figured it was safer than a 4-wheeler or a motorcycle.  Like, how fast can you go on a lawnmower, right?  They underestimated our inherent evil thirst for adventure.

Anyway, like nice big sisters, we offered to take the little sisters for a ride in the cow field. 

Somehow, the little sisters got out of wagon/cart.  Maybe we made them get out.  I don't remember.  It's possible.  Even highly likely. 

The cow field was behind the house, but there was no one to hear them scream outside supervising us, so we proceeded to chase down our sisters with the lawnmower.

I remember them running and screaming and looking back, trying to run in a zig zag so we couldn't get them.  Rihanna and I were laughing hysterically and were truly trying to run them over with the lawnmower. To my utter shame, it still makes me laugh uncontrollably.

I really think had they run just a little slower, we would have plowed them down and then plonked the wagon over them for good measure.

This is probably one of those "you had to be there" kind of stories.  But it makes me laugh every time I think about it.  And it probably ranks as one of my top 5 childhood memories.

Not sure what that says about me, but I do know this:  Rihanna gets it.  And that's why I am thankful she is my friend.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

fav Christmas songs and carols

My sister, Pee (yes, that's her real nickname), was here last weekend.  In the course of our conversations, she mentioned that "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" was her favorite Christmas song.

I thought she was kidding.

I questioned her and she assured me that indeed, it is her favorite Christmas song.

Can I just say that it's probably my 91st favorite Christmas song? 

My sister just went down a notch in my eyes.  (I'm sure she is quite concerned.)

How can "God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen" be your favorite Christmas song? 

So it got me to thinking, what is my favorite Christmas song?

There are too many to actually pick a favorite, so I guess I will make a Top 5 List.  Actually, I'll make a couple of lists, because I'm awesome weird like that. 

And, I'll make them Top 7 Lists.

Because I can't pick just 5, but I'm too lazy to shoot for 10.

Here it goes:

Ketchup with the Frys Top 7 Hymns or Carols:
1.  O Come, All Ye Faithful
2.  Angels We Have Heard On High
3.  It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
4.  Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus
5.  What Child Is This
6.   Joy to the World
7.  The Friendly Beasts

Ketchup with the Frys Top 7 Random Christmas Songs:
1.  Run, Run Rudolph (Chuck Berry)
2.  Christmas Time is Here (Peanuts)
3.  Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (Judy Garland in Meet Me in St. Louis)
4.  Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy (Garth Brooks)
5.  Hanukkah Song (Adam Sandler)
6.  Christmas Song (Alvin & the Chipmunks)
7.  All I Want for Christmas Is You (Mariah Carey)

Ketchup with the Frys Top 7 Worst Christmas Songs:
1.  Christmas Shoes - I hear one note of this on the radio, and even if I have to swerve over into oncoming traffic, I reach over and turn it before the second note.  I abhor this song. 
2.  Do They Know It's Christmas? I know this is like a Feed the World, Save the Children kind of a song and it's probably wrong to not like this song, but I don't care, it gets on my nerves.
3.  Last Christmas (Wham)  Wham and Christmas do not go together.  Just sayin'.
4.  O Tannenbaum  Who says Tannenbaum?  If you're going to sing the whole song in German, go for it.  If not, O Christmas Tree will suffice.
5.  Mary, Did You Know? (Kenny Rogers)  I feel bad for not liking this song too, but Kenny Rogers is creepy.  And whenever someone sings this as a solo in church, it's never as good as it should be.  Which is unfortunate, because it has potential to be a nice song.  But I could tolerate it if not for Kenny Rogers.
6.  I Saw 3 Ships  The lyrics of this song say "...and what was in those ships all 3?...The virgin Mary and Christ were there..." Um, I'm pretty sure Mary and Baby Jesus were not on a ship.  Who wrote this song and why weren't they burned at the stake told the truth?
7.  My Grown Up Christmas List  Kind of like #2, I feel bad that I dislike this song because I guess it's nice and all.  However, it's annoying and I don't like it.  Hence it's appearance on this list.

Also, as a side note?  I bought the Phineas and Ferb Christmas CD.  It's not bad.  In fact, it's growing on me.  It's too early for me to pick a favorite tune, but maybe one will make the list next year!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

proper use of wood glue

Remember the cute little Halloween house we made?

Today we decided to make a Gingerbread House to add to our Christmas decor.  It's kind of a tradition around here and Superfrykid was super excited to work on this project today.

We knew that it was going to be a little dicey, because the main parts were broken when we opened the package.  Nothing a little wood glue can't handle, right?

Apparently wood glue is not for use on gingerbread.

Alas, the damages were too devastating and even wood glue could not fix it.

I guess that's what happens when you try to be cheap and buy a gingerbread house after Christmas for 75% off and save it for the following year. 

But I did have hopes that the wood glue would work.  Gingerbread house FAIL.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, so let's talk about....deer.

Superfrydad went hunting this morning.  He got a deer.

That's Superfrykid balancing on the edge of the tailgate.  She was excited, but that was as close as she would get.  She was wearing her pink sparkle flip flops and didn't want to step on any blood.  I don't blame her. 

I'm thankful that he got this deer this morning because if he had gotten it later in the day, we may have been late for our Thanksgiving meal.  That would not have been good because I hate to be late and I have 20 pounds of potatoes ready to be made into a mountain of mashed potatoes.  Nobody likes cold mashed potatoes.

So now I need to go and start peeling potatoes.

Happy Thanksgiving.

If you just finished reading this and are judging me because I didn't list all the things I'm thankful for, poop on you.  I am thankful for all of the things that everyone else is thankful for, I just don't feel the need to list it here.  I feel that the One I need to thank is God, and he's not a follower of my blog as far as I know, so I will thank Him in private.  Not that I'm ashamed to thank Him publicly, it's just that whenever I see people listing all of their blessings on facebook, it feels like a brag-fest.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Sorry for the rant.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

no sleep or eyerolling, which do you prefer?

They say that 7 is the number of perfection.

I think "they" are right.

Superfrykid is 7 right now.

It's the best age!

I remember when Superfrykid was an infant and I didn't sleep for more than 53 minutes at a time, I would say to myself, "it will get easier, it will get easier." 

Months turned into years and I had a toddler.

It did not get easier.

The poop just got less seedy and she had the ability to run away and talk back.  Only slightly more sleep.  Different, but not easier.

I can finally say that I am now in "easier" mode.

Everything is easier with a 7 year old. 

It's awesome. 

Except when she rolls her eyes at me like she's 13.

But I must say, at this point in my life, if I had to choose between no sleep and an eyeroll, the eyeroll wins every time.

Monday, November 14, 2011

the best part of my day today

Remember the paper towel incident that happened last Friday?

Today I went to return something and I mentioned it to the cashier. 

She checked the official notebook entitled, "Stuff People Forgot" and scanned down the page to see if my paper towels were, indeed, listed among the billion other items left by people of the Mart.  (peeps o'the Mart, if you will.)

She did not find my paper towels listed among the items from 11-11-11.

Which means 1 of 2 things:
1.  Someone stole my paper towels from the cart in the parking lot.
2.  Someone turned in my paper towels but there was a failure to record it the official notebook of "Stuff People Forgot".

My paper towels happened to be on the receipt with the item I was returning. 

Guess what?

The cashier gave me a refund!!!  

I got my $7 plus change back in cash.

It was a great moment.

Triumphant, even.

I left with the money in my pocket and no paper towels.  I was too tired to walk back there and get them and wait in line.  We've lived since Friday without them, so we can wait til I shop again.

It was never about the paper towels anyway.

It was about doing the right thing and believing in others and justice for all!

It's a small victory, but it was the best part of my day.

Friday, November 11, 2011

the worst part of my day today

Went to WalMart today (aka the Ghetto of the Twighlight Zone)

Bought an 8 pack of Great Value paper towels.  They were 6.97.

I left them in the parking lot in the bottom rack of the cart.

I called WalMart, thinking maybe someone turned in my paper towels.

That was a total waste of time funny. 

I actually thought maybe someone would have had eyes seen me leave them under my cart and maybe that person would have not stolen them taken them back inside.

Now I'm out 6.97 plus tax and I have no paper towels.

I guess if this is the worst part of my day, I'm doing ok.

But it still irks me.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

turkey cookies

Seems like I post a lot of things that annoy me:  stink bugs, people, sugar bags, etc.

Today, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I thought I'd talk about something that makes me happy.  An unpeeve, if you will.

Break and Bake Cookies are the best.

Break and Bake Cookies with little turkeys on them?

Even better.

The inventor of these little cookies must be a genius.  I mean, how in the world could I ever make a cookie that even slightly resembles a turkey?  I can't even make a Mickey Mouse pancake without a disaster.

Another bonus point for this cookies is that you can say that you baked them. 

Because you did.

No batter bowls to wash, no sugar granules all over the place, no making sure your baking powder isn't 3 years old.....none of these trivial things to worry about when you bake these little darlings.  Plus, they might be one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

So in my list of things I'm thankful for.....turkey cookies are up there pretty high.  Not sure of their exact rank, but I'd say they might make the top 100.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

sugar bags are the devil

Am I the only person in the world who thinks that the way sugar is sold is stupid?

You buy a five pound bag of sugar. 

You carefully open the bag and a million granules of sugar spill everywhere.

No matter how carefully you open the bag, you WILL be getting sugar everywhere.

There's got to be a better way, people.

We can send men to the moon but we can't package sugar in a container that doesn't make a mess?

It's 2011.  Time to get rid of the paper bag rolled down and sealed with a glue stick. 

I'm just sayin'.