Thursday, January 5, 2012

getting older but not wiser

Today is my birthday.

I am 36.


If you think about it, I'm kind of at the top of the downhill slope toward death.


So I'm getting older, but I'm not sure I'm getting wiser.

Here's an example of something that actually happened to me today. 

It has nothing to do with my birthday, but I think it illustrates that my brain is not quite what it used to be.

I had a text conversation with my 20-something, recently engaged niece that went like this:

Me:  Do you have a favorite verse or quotation that I could use to put on your shower invitation?

Niece:  I don't care. Surprise me. :)

Immediately following her text, this "draft" appeared in the same thread:
"Do I have enough money to buy six bags for me to use for nye?  I can drop off the cash tuesday"

Now, I don't know about you, but when I read this, my jaw dropped. 

Here's what went through my mind:
I know my niece went to Baltimore with her fiance and friends for New Year's Eve.  Baltimore is a hub for drugs.  What else would she be buying baggies of and paying for with cash?  Why did she accidently send me this?  How am I going to confront her with this?  I saw her on New Year's Day and she didn't look like she was on drugs.  6 bags?  Why wouldn't you make your friends buy their own?  And she said, "do I have enough money?"  Like, does she make deposits with her supplier for future purchases?  What's up with that?  I don't think that's how it works.  Ugh.  It's always something.  This is going to be ugly.

I showed Superfrydad when he got home and we didn't know what to think.  Since the message showed as a draft, I was slightly confused because when I replied to my niece, it showed ME as the sender. 

I actually uttered this sentence:  "I did NOT type that!  What do I buy in baggies for New Year's Eve?"

Then it hit me.

Bags of shrimp.

Food Lion had a sale on frozen bags of shrimp and I was going to my sister's & couldn't make it to the store by the time the sale ended so I was GOING to ask my niece to stop & get me some because she lives very close to Food Lion.  (take a big breath after that long run on sentence.) Then I changed my mind because I felt bad asking her to do my shopping for New Year's Eve, so I never sent the message.

However, my phone saved my text as a draft and in my "old-person brain stupor", as I like to call it, I totally forgot that I had typed those words.

Plus, as an old person, I automatically assume that all young people buy drugs in baggies & pay with cash on tuesday.

It's all downhill from here, people.

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