Sunday, January 15, 2012

attack of the great white ducks

Superfrydad's niece is getting married in May.

It's going to be an outdoor wedding at a local park.

The ceremony is going to be next to a pond, which is sure to be lovely.

There is one problem.


Big white ones with bright orange feet.

And flappy wings that could probably cut you.   

What?  You've never heard that expression?  "Watch out, those ducks will cut you, man."

So I went with my niece to scout out the location and see where the best place would be for the aisle, the chairs and all that jazz.

Next thing we know, we are accosted by this duck gang.

How do I know they were a gang?

They all dressed alike.  White feathers with bright orange feet.

We were in their 'hood and they were not happy about it.

What did we do?

Run, of course.

They chased us a little and then stopped.

We discussed the possibility of a duck invasion during the ceremony & here's what we came up with:
1.  Hire duck bouncers to keep the ducks at a safe distance from guests and the bridal party.  I'm thinking men with sunglasses and earpieces who carry shepherd's hooks.
2.  Get someone to distract the ducks during the ceremony by feeding them on the other side of the pond, far away from the ceremony.  Ducks are like seagulls at the beach.  Throw one little morsel of food and you get every fowl within 5 miles flocking to you and flapping you do death.
3.  Make sure the videographer has a clear shot so that when the ducks attack the bride and groom during their vows, maybe they can win $10,000 on AFV.

I'm excited to see what will happen with these ducks.  If I'm correct, they will probably remember us because once you've crossed a gang member, you never know when they will strike back at you.  I'm guessing it will be at a wildly inappropriate time and may or may not involve poop.

We'll see what happens.  Hopefully, all will be perfect for their special day, but I can't help but secretly want her to hire some cool duck bouncers.

1 comment:

  1. Oh I've had a run in with those ducks too! (and I think it's the same duck gang that my sister witness trying to murder one of their own!/2010/05/duck-murder-or-close-to-it.html ) So the girls and I were walking around that same pond last spring during their brother's baseball practice. So we get to the curve around the pond where the ducks were hanging out. I was sorta scared by them (well, a lot scared by them) so I pretended to stop and tie my shoes and suggested the girls run along ahead thinking the ducks would disperse when the girls walked up. No, the ducks started to quack loudly and walk toward the girls and being the great mother that I am I turned and ran the other way. There was no way I was going to tangle with those ducks! lol