I feel I'm pretty safe to blog about my grandmother because
a. she's in her late 70's
b. she doesn't own a computer
c. any relative reading this should be smart enough to keep it on the down low
My husband refers to her as "The Don" (and no, just because I made a reference once to a horse head in a bed doesn't mean I am connected to the mob). He never calls her that to her face, mind you. He calls her that because she is the matriarch of the family and likes to dole out little jobs for people to do. Not jobs like burying people in concrete. Jobs like, buy a pair of suspenders for your grandfather by Friday or stop and get me 3 scented oil diffusers or get me some gas for my lawnmower. (All of those are real and recent "jobs".)
Oftentimes we give her a ride to church. She lives within spitting distance of our church, but she likes to be dropped off at the front door I think. When the phone rings on Saturday evening, I pretty much know it's the Don letting us know if she wants a ride or not. I called her one Sunday morning not long ago because she did not make the Saturday evening call, and asked if she wanted us to pick her up. Her response?
"If I need a ride, I'll call you."
The Don has spoken.
Shortly after that, I was making a meal for someone who just had a baby and happens to live close to my grandparents. It happened to also be my grandfather's 86th birthday, so I called to see if I could bring them some dinner too. Her response?
"What are you fixing?"
I told her grilled chicken, twice baked potatoes and green beans. Her response?
"No, that's ok."
Okie dokie then.
I did end up taking them some cupcakes since it was his birthday. I didn't ask, I just did it. Thankfully, this pleased the Don and all was well.
I never really look forward to getting old, but I am definitely taking notes from my grandmother because if I make it to be her age, I am totally bossing everybody around. I am going to think of the most trivial jobs ever and see how far I can go with it. I'll be old, and I'll need something to keep me amused.
Here is a pic of my grandmother, taken by my daughter. What kind of grandmother makes a face at her grandchild who is taking her picture? The Don, that's who. Because she doesn't care if you don't like it.