Superfrydad and I have been married for almost 17 years.
Once, when we were still in the single digits of marriage, my husband went to the grand opening of The Tractor Supply Company. Where, to his amazement, there was a man using a chainsaw to create wonderful works of art out of stumps.
Not stumps as in Civil War leg stumps, but pieces of wood kind of stumps.
Well, not priceless as it turns out. More like $300.
He purchased and hauled home a giant stump with a deer head sticking out of it.
He likes to hunt and thought it was the perfect way to add a little bit of the outdoors to our home.
It looks like a horse with antlers.
Needless to say, I hated it. I still hate it.
I've tried to get rid of it for years. It was in our basement for a long time, scaring any little kids who happened to be visiting. Did I mention it weighs about a million pounds? That was always the excuse for Superfrydad to not get rid of it. "It's too heavy to carry up the basement steps."
Well, I finally got some friends to carry it outside one time. It made it out of the basement and is now on our deck.
Where it's been for quite some time now. Weathering and peeling and looking more creepy than ever.
If I could pick it up, I'd carry it far, far away.
Here's a picture of it. Let me know if you would like to own it. It's free if you haul it. I might even pay you to take it.
It would be a great prank on someone to put it right outside their bedroom window.
Almost as bad as waking up with a real horse head in your bed.
Actually, a real horse head would be more convenient for me at this point. I can't carry the stump so therefore it's still here. I could totally put a horse head in a garbage bag and carry it outside. After I stopped screaming, of course.
Did I just express a preference for a real horse head in my bed over the stump horse head on my deck?
I think so.
You never have to visit this blog again. I totally understand.