me vs. pioneer woman

I used to like The Pioneer Woman.  I read her blog a lot and finally I realized that it's actually kind of lame.  In fact, I discovered a blog called thepioneerwomansux or something like that.  There are actually several blogs out there that exist solely to make fun of The Pioneer Woman.  She is a really rich lady who pretends to be all country and cool at the same time.   I don't know why, but that rubs me the wrong way, so now I don't read PW anymore.

Then I got to thinking about it (I can't sleep and I've watched all of my DVR shows)....anyway, I started thinking about how my life is kind of a really low-budget/rednecky version of the Pioneer Woman. 

PW:  Marlboro Man  (wears chaps, cowboy hat & goatee)
Me:  Superfrydad (wears jean shorts, baseball hat & goatee)

PW:  Lives on a ranch in OK
Me:  Live on 3 acres in WV

PW:  Has lots of cattle and horses
Me:  Have 5 cows, a bull and 3 goats

PW:  Former ballerina
Me:  Former marching band color guard member (also known as "flags")

PW:  Published cookbook author
Me:  Unpublished box macaroni and cheese maker

PW:  Complains about her weight all the time/probably is a size 6 or 8 after 4 kids
Me:  Complain about my weight all the time/was an 8 before I bore children, now I am not.

PW:  Wears expensive clothing and thinks a shirt for $70 is a good buy
Me:  Wear inexpensive clothing and think that a shirt for $70 better have $50 in the pocket

Maybe I should rename Ketchup With The Frys.   I could call it thepoorandfatpioneerwoman or something catchy like that.  I'll think about it.