Thursday, July 19, 2012

splinters in my smoothie

Can we all agree that it's not easy to eat healthy?

I mean, I usually don't even bother trying, but I'm at the point in my life where I need to either suck it up and try to do something about my weight or I need to just surrender and buy some muumuus, an oxygen tank and a scooter.

So, I'm not quite ready to rock the scooter yet, so I have been using my elliptical (thanks, Kelly) and have been attempting to make small changes in my diet.  I know if I do something drastic, I'll never stick to it, so I figure I'll take baby steps.

Yesterday, I tried to make a smoothie.  I was visiting my sister a few days earlier & she made some really yummy smoothies for us, so I was inspired to try it for myself at home.

My ingredients:  greek yogurt, frozen berries, fresh banana, and honey.
Instructions:  Plop some yogurt and fruit into a blender, add some honey and blend until smooth.

I put my ingredients into my blender and they did not seem to want to blend.  So I took a spoon and tried to "help" it.  The spoon was my favorite Pampered Chef bamboo spoon.  I accidently hit the blade and my spoon now looks like this:

Really?  Now I have splinters in my smoothie.

You have no idea how much I wanted to throw the entire blender into the yard and light it on fire.  My favorite spoon ruined, my smoothie full of splinters, and a blender to take apart and clean.

I almost decided to drink the smoothie anyway because it's fiber, right?   Also, maybe the small splinters would make my stomach hurt and then I wouldn't want to eat anything else for the rest of the day.  Hey, that could be a new diet.  Splinter Smoothies.....with extra fiber and a stomachache so you don't eat anything for the rest of the day.  Side effects may include:  tongue splinters, stomach/intestinal cramps, bloody stool, hunger in spite of the claims of this diet, and death.  If you happen to see that on an infomercial at 2 in the morning, just remember you saw it here first.

Please excuse me while I go get myself a snack.  One that does not involve splinters.

1 comment:

  1. I've always wondered, if you wore a muumuu on dress like a cow day at Chick-fil-A, does that count?