Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th of July

I love 4th of July.   I like all things patriotic and I really love fireworks.

Part of being an American is having the opportunity to fulfill your hopes and dreams in the land of freedom.

Here are some hopes I have for you for the 4th of July:

Hope your hot dogs don't burn.  Too much.  I like a little black.  Otherwise they look like they are naked or raw or something gross like that.  So I guess I should say, I hope your hot dogs don't catch on fire.  That's too much.  But if you're not going to char them a little, why not just eat them straight out of the package and save yourself some propane?

Hope your illegal fireworks do not land on top of your roof and burn down your house.

Hope the bananas on your flag inspired fruit kabobs that you saw on Pinterest don't turn brown.

Hope you don't have to pee while you sit in post-firework traffic for 2 hours.

Hope your jean capris are clean and make your butt look good.  And your white t-shirt does not have armpit stains.  And that you have a pair of red flip flops or something to complete your red, white and blue look.

Hope the fireworks you bought are not duds.  Sometimes the packages make them seem like they are super cool and all they really are are sparklers in a cardboard container.

Hope your kid doesn't throw a sparkler into the yard and then you accidently step on it with your bare feet while trying to find it after it goes out. Those things stay hot for a minute, let me tell you.

Hope your deviled eggs taste good and that you don't run out of paprika.  You can't have deviled eggs without paprika.  Although I hate eggs, so I don't really care.  But they just make me think of July 4th, so I thought I'd throw that in there for those of you who like to eat things that smell like butt rotten.

But in all seriousness, Happy 4th of July!
Hope you take a moment  to be thankful for the freedoms we enjoy as citizens of the United States of America!

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