Warning: once again, I feel like I must warn those who do not like potty humor. Just move on to another blog if you don't like gross things. Also, if you know me in real life, please do not hold this against me. If you don't know me in real life, consider yourself warned in case we ever do meet.
A friend sent me this quote:
"A hug is like a strangle you haven't finished yet."
I must admit, I giggled. Especially since this friend is not a hugger.
Not sure why, but that quote made me think of this one:
"A burp is like a fart that comes out of your mouth."
This is kind of true, really. I mean, there are burps that are really stinky and gross.
Case in point: Last night we had spaghetti and cheesy bread. The bread had garlic in it, which, by the way, makes me mad. If I wanted garlic bread, that's what I would buy. I buy cheesy bread b/c I don't like garlic bread. Actually, it's not that I don't like garlic bread, it's just that garlic anything does not like me.
Anyway, we had cheesy bread that was actually garlic bread. Then later I ate a bowl of Lucky Charms. Have you ever noticed that Lucky Charms kind of stink? They have this gross smell when you open them and then after you eat them, they kind of leave a yucky taste in your mouth. Maybe it's just me.
So as I was getting in bed, I burped.
No lie, this was the grossest burp ever. It was closer to a fart, only it didn't make it that far and it came up instead. It should be called a bart. (burp+fart=bart) It was a combination of garlic and Lucky Charms. Not ladylike. Not subtle. Not nice.
The only combination that I can think of that would be worse than garlic and Lucky Charms is Long John Silvers plus anything.
LJS + anything = grossest bart ever
You can go now. After reading this, you probably feel the need to go and brush your teeth. I understand completely.
So gross. Yet so true. It's what you've come to expect from KWTF, right? I really have been trying to think of some family stuff to share, but we are kind of boring. Barts are about as interesting as we get this week.
I realize I may lose some followers for posting dumb stuff like this, but at this point, what do I have to lose? I have 19 official followers, and one of the 19 is myself. One friend has a double follower-ship, so really I have 17. But who's counting, right?