Warning: Before you read this post, if you know me, you must agree to never mention it in front of Superfrykid. If you don't know me, feel free to mention it.
Last night before Superfrykid went to bed, she gave her dolls and stuffed animals a kiss and tucked them under the covers. I told her she was going to be a wonderful mommy someday and she asked me when she would be a mom. I told her hopefully not for at least 20 years or so. Then the following conversation happened:
Me: That's something we'll talk about another time. Right now, it's time for bed.
SFK: Just tell me. HOW? HOW do you get pregnant?
Me: I said we'll talk about it later. Right now it's late and it's time for bed.
SFK: But, mom, just tell me.
Me: Fine. So you know how girls and boys have different body parts? Well, girls and boys have different body parts on the inside too. Girls have eggs inside and the boy fertilizes the egg and that's how a baby is made.
SFK: So girls are like chickens because they have eggs inside and boys have manure inside?
SFK: You said that girls have eggs like chickens and boys have fertilizer. Isn't fertilizer like, manure?
Me: Yes, manure is fertilizer, but boys don't have manure inside them. It's not manure.
What I am thinking: Yes, some men ARE full of crap.
SFK: Well that makes sense, because that's why moms poop out the baby.....because the egg is covered in manure so the mom can poop it out.
At this point, I am hysterically laughing and Superfrykid continues to talk about how in school they are learning about mammals and reptiles, etc. and that people are mammals who give birth to live babies. I try to explain to her that it's not like a chicken egg and it's not manure, but she is not listening because she thinks she is right.
Basically, my kid thinks babies are made with eggs and manure and childbirth is like taking a giant dump.
If you need someone to talk to your kids about the birds and the bees, I'm available.
Photo taken before she knew the truth.
Actually, she still doesn't know the truth.
But she knows enough for now.
Hopefully she won't raise her hand & share her knowledge with her entire class.