I am not the walrus

Warning:  this is my attempt at a serious, thoughtful post.  It's sure to not be up everyone's alley, but that's ok.  Your alley can remain ketchupless if you like.  Although, I guess if you have ketchup in your alley, you'd be likely to slip.  Nevermind, this was supposed to be serious.

Ahem.

Let's start over.

So Superfrykid got a little Sunflower Seed Pot in her Easter basket.  We put it in the window and added water and guess what? 

We have some little sunflowers growing.

Notice that the sprouts actually push up the outer shell of the sunflower seed and then when it opens, the outer shell falls off. 

Sometimes growing can be painful.  But getting rid of our crusty outer shell is a necessary part of life.  Why try to hold on to the crustiness? 
Let it go and reach up and grow.

That is all.

Now let's back up a minute.

Did I really just say "Let it go and reach up and grow."?

Someone needs to slap me.

I sound like a bad, sappy version of Dr. Phil. 

Sorry, Dr. Phil.

Not that I think Dr. Phil is going to read this but I gotta cover my bases here.  You never know when the Philster might google his own name & start at the bottom.

 I don't think I'd want him as my enemy. 

Although, how can you really take a man who has a walrus mustache seriously? 

His wife, Robin, however, is a different story.  That lady looks like she would cut you.  Just sayin'. 

she may never brush again

Superfrykid may never brush again.

I cannot tell a lie

Superfrykid has been learning about George Washington.

Here's what she brought home from school yesterday:

If you can't see it very well, this is what it says:

You should always tell the truth because: "you get in less trouble!"

I'm pretty sure that that is not the correct answer.

But I guess it's honest, and isn't that the point we're trying to make here?

my neighbor

Remember the TV show "Home Improvement", with Tim Allen? 

Remember Wilson, the neighbor guy who gave advice to Tim over the fence?

Well, I don't have a neighbor like that.

Technically, I don't really have any neighbors.  Most people would say I live in the boonies.

However, at the beginning of our driveway, a mile and a half away, there are a few houses.  I consider them my neighbors since they are the people who live closest to me.

Today I was coming home and passed a truck with 2 men inside.  I noticed that the truck did not have a license plate.  Our road is a gravel road and all types of 4-wheelers, dirt bikes and trucks seem to think it is a raceway for unlicensed motor vehicles, so it's not uncommon to pass a strange car or truck.

As I continued on, I saw a 4-wheeler ahead of me.  It was my neighbor.  He turned around at the bottom of my driveway, waved & went back out.   I unloaded some groceries and went inside.

A little while later, my phone rang.  It was my neighbor.  He said he was calling to check on me because he had passed that truck AGAIN on his way home.  The truck had turned around and come back my way and he wanted to make sure I was ok. 

Isn't that nice?

It kind of made my day.

Thank you, neighbor-who-watches-out-for-bad-guys-and-patrols-my-road-on-his-4-wheeler. 

Sorry, I couldn't think of a name for him.  Wilson was already taken, and The Watcher sounds like a bad horror movie. Maybe Superneighborman?

ode to orange sherbert

One of the benefits I enjoy as a school lunch lady is that I get to eat school lunch everyday. 

Shout out to the cooks at my school - they are very hardworking and go the extra mile for the students and staff. 

Anyway, this week was a good week in terms of school lunch because one day we had SHERBERT!

And a choice of sherbert at that.  Lime or orange. 

I chose orange.

I haven't had sherbert in probably YEARS. 

It was so delicious.

So today I went to the grocery store & bought a big container of it.  Nobody else knows it's in the freezer. 

I feel like I have a special secret nobody knows about.

The only bad thing about sherbert is that I hate when people spell it "sherbet". 

All other things about sherbert are wonderful. 

That's my ode to sherbert. 

What's your favorite frozen dessert?  (See that?  That question is my attempt at being a "real" blogger who fishes for comments.  I really don't care too much about your favorite frozen dessert, but if you feel like it, leave it here.  Certainly it's more exciting than orange sherbert.)

chinchilla

We used to have a chinchilla.

I was reminded of him by a friend's blog post about her pet rats.

If you don't know what a chinchilla is, look it up.  Basically, they kind of look like a rat/rabbit/squirrel/guinea pig.  Their fur is super duper soft and for some reason, we decided to buy one when we were first married.  We had no children and it seemed like a good idea.  Plus, we both made approximately $7 per hour, so the $200 we spent on it seemed like nothing.  Obviously, we are champions in the budgeting department.  Why Dave Ramsey never called us to be his poster children is beyond me.  But I digress.

So our chinchilla's name was Garth.  Garth lived in a cage in our basement.  Sometimes we would let him out to run around.  He was super fast and when he would get going really good, he would jump REALLY high and literally bounce off the walls.  (According to Wikipedia, they can jump up to 6 feet high.)  I only let him out when Superfrydad was home, because he was the only one who could catch the little booger.  The trick to catching him was to grab him by the tail & hang him upside down so he couldn't bite you with his little beaver teeth.

One night, I was home alone.  Superfrydad was working night shift.  I was in bed, half-asleep, and I thought I heard footsteps.  So of course, I just opened my eyes ever so slightly to try and appear still sleeping to any would be murderers.  I lay there listening and then I saw something MOVE.  Really fast.  And it wasn't a mouse.  It was bigger.  It was Garth.

It took me forever to catch him.  I finally threw a towel over him and caught him.  I don't like to touch animals if I can avoid it.  Even soft ones that people use to make coats out of.

Chasing a chinchilla around in the middle of the night is not my idea of a good time.  He's a lucky chinchilla that I didn't throw the towel in the washing machine ....let's just say he's a lucky chinchilla because he didn't bite me and I was able to safely place him back into his cage. 

That's my chinchilla tale.  The end.

garbage disposal

I do not have a garbage disposal.

I'm okay with that.

We kind of live in the boonies, so we just go out onto the deck and fling our scraps into the yard, and our dog eats them.  If you've never met our dog, he is a man's man kind of dog.  His name is Woodrow.  That's his real name, since I don't feel the need to protect his identity.  Woodrow eats anything.  He is a big, hairy beast of a dog who has never gotten sick from any table scraps.  At least, not that I know of.  He never comes inside, so if he's outside puking or pooping all over the place, I'm okay with that because I do not have to see it, smell it, nor clean it up. 

My current favorite cereal is Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.  Not sure if you've ever eaten this cereal, but it gets mushy kind of quick, therefore, there are usually quite a few floating bits left. 

However, when I eat cereal, it's either early in the morning or late at night and I don't feel like going outside.  So instead of flinging the mush from the deck, I just pour the milk down the sink. 

Then the milk sits in the strainer and won't go down because of all of the mush.

Then I have to MacGuyver it and turn into a garbage disposal.  (Note:  If you are counting, that's two times I've used MacGuyver as a verb on this blog.)

So I take my spoon and chop up the mush so it goes down the drain.

No, I do not make a whirring noise while I chop with the spoon. 

That's my garbage disposal. 

Thankfully, my husband is a handyman so if I clog it up too badly, he can fix it.  However, I will then have to find a new favorite cereal.  That, or get a real garbage disposal.

more is not always better

More is not always better.

Case in point:  Today I thought I accidently rubbed my contact lens out of my eye, so I put another one in.

Turns out, the first one was still there, so I was wearing 2 contacts.

I looked like I had a clear butterfly trying to hatch out of my eye. 

Then I couldn't figure out which one to throw away. 

I'm sure I probably threw the new one away, which is annoying because surely tomorrow the old one will bother me and I will have wasted a perfectly good contact lens.

More is not always better.

Superbowl, Schmuperbowl

I hear the Super Bowl is coming up.

I'm not a sports lover. 

But in the same way I'm not an animal lover, just because I'm not a sports lover doesn't mean I hate sports.

Here are some things I'm looking forward to about the Super Bowl:

1.  The commercials.  Even the most devoted fan looks forward to the commercials.  Am I right?  Yes.

2.  The food.  You cannot watch sports without eating yummy snacks.  Super Bowl snacks are even better because they're usually a step up from just regular snacks.  And even if the snacks are not a step up from regular snacks, there are more of them.

3.  The half time show.  I watched an interview featuring Madonna and she said she has like 7 minutes to take down her stage.  That's incredible.  Nevermind the show, the logistics are amazing.  Plus, there's always some random back up dancer on the field who dances off beat or runs the wrong way, which is funny to watch for.

4.  The game.  I don't really like to watch football, or any sport, for that matter.  But sometimes I don't mind watching.  Emphasis on sometimes.  Sometimes meaning once a year.  Only on Super Bowl Sunday do I try to pay attention to the actual game. 

And, as a bonus this year, I watched the playoff games.  Both of them.  I feel like I should get to eat extra snacks on Super Bowl Sunday for this.  Because the snacks at the playoff games were nonexistent.  Does that make sense to anybody else, or is it just me? 

one of my roles

I have several roles that I play in life:  wife, mother, lunch lady, Sunday School teacher, laundress, chef cooker of dinner, etc. etc.

I am also the official "car follower" for Superfrydad.

I am forever following this man while he is driving a tractor, backhoe, or truck loaded with 25 couches.

My job is to follow behind in the car and make sure that nothing falls off and also pick him up at the end of the destination, if needed.

Sounds easy, right?

Well, it is easy.  I mean, we're usually driving slowly so I can text while driving so I can enjoy the scenery and take my time.  Also, Superfrykid is almost always in the backseat, so I get to listen to her whine spend quality time talking with her.

The hard part is the worry about the unknown.

What if the couch falls off and hits my windshield?  Glass will get in my eyes!  Then I can't see!  Then I might crash into a tree!

What if someone tries to pass us on a double line?  Obviously there will be someone coming the other way & I might have to swerve off the road & crash into a tree.

What if the hay on the trailer rubs against the tire & catches on fire?....wait, this actually happened once so I know what happens.  It all works out.  As long as you figure out you're on fire before it can spread.  Hay & fire don't generally get along.

Something else that happens from time to time is that a line of about a billion cars will be behind us while he's driving something large that travels at 12 miles per hour.  I will try to call him to let him know to LOOK BEHIND HIM and pull over before the guy behind me goes crazy & rams me.  He never picks up.

Really?  You know I'm driving right behind you & you can't pick up the phone?  What if I'm calling to let you know you're on fire?  Which, as we know, can happen. 

Anyway, if you fill this role for someone in your life, you will feel my pain.  If not, go back to eating your bon bons and living your easy life.

all of the ketchup is mine

Ok, so I mentioned in my last post, "someone stole my ketchup", that this other blogger stole the idea that I haven't had yet.

Guess what her newest post is entitled?

Not enough ketchup in the world

Now I ain't sayin' she's a ketchup stealer, but she ain't messin' with no mustard
(if you get that, we are on the same page & are both laughing right now...if you don't, just keep moving because it's really not all that funny.)

Angry Birds is going to help me conquer my NYR

Angry Birds is going to help me conquer my New Year's Resolution.

How's that, you might ask?

Superfrykid got a Kindle Fire for Christmas.

I love it.

She loves it.

It's great b/c she can use it for lots of different things and since she's an only child, we don't have to hear anyone fighting over it.

Also, I realllllly am starting to like Angry Birds. 

I never understood why people liked this game.  Seemed kind of dumb to me.

What's so great about sliding your finger across a screen and trying to kill green pigs?

I'll tell you, there's nothing like the satisfaction of completing a level that you've tried to beat 122 times in a row.

Angry Birds is my new favorite game.  I realize that it's probably "out" since I've now discovered it, but whatever, that's the story of my life.

Our church is reading the Bible through in 2012.  (As our pastor says:  "All the way through in two-oh-one-two" - kind of corny, but it's also kind of catchy.)  I've tried to do this many times and always kind of fizzle out after Leviticus.  However, this year I have a plan.

Since I can get the Bible on the Kindle Fire, I am simply going to read my assigned Bible chapters BEFORE I allow myself to play Angry Birds.  Genius, right?

I think this is a great arrangement.  But I can't help but thinking it's kind of like doing 10 jumping jacks and allowing yourself to eat 5 Krispy Kreme donuts. 

Shouldn't I just read the verses and not have to have an incentive other than spiritual need and personal growth?

Don't answer that.

Also, now I'm hungry for a Krispy Kreme.

Excuse me while I go do a few jumping jacks.

pinning

Have you discovered the time warp  website known as Pinterest?

I'm sure it's popularity is probably going downhill at this point since I've just recently discovered it.
(My car still has a tape player, that's how current I am.)

Anyway, I've been wasting hours of my life discovering Pinterest and I really like it.

If you don't know, it's like an online corkboard where you can "pin" ideas, recipes, photos, and such.

Here's the thing:  once you start looking at it, you can't stop.  It's like a car accident on the side of the road.  You know you should stop looking but you can't help yourself.

Here's the other thing:  if you look at Pinterest while you are at work, you may laugh out loud uncontrollably & everyone you work with will look at you like you are looney.  Not that I've experienced that. 

But I'm just warning you incase you work somewhere that requires you to work instead of browse Pinterest.  Because the sudden outburst of laughter might give you away. 

Anyway, I'm sure my interest in Pinterest (say that 5 times fast) will fade, but for now, I think it's kind of fun.

On a side note, my favorite pin so far is a tiny pig wearing red rain boots.  I generally detest all animals, but this pig is quite the exception.  It just makes me smile.  Not sure if this will work or not, but we'll find out:  http://pinterest.com/ketchupwtfrys/so-darn-cute/

the best part of my day today

Remember the paper towel incident that happened last Friday?

Today I went to return something and I mentioned it to the cashier. 

She checked the official notebook entitled, "Stuff People Forgot" and scanned down the page to see if my paper towels were, indeed, listed among the billion other items left by people of the Mart.  (peeps o'the Mart, if you will.)

She did not find my paper towels listed among the items from 11-11-11.

Which means 1 of 2 things:
1.  Someone stole my paper towels from the cart in the parking lot.
2.  Someone turned in my paper towels but there was a failure to record it the official notebook of "Stuff People Forgot".

My paper towels happened to be on the receipt with the item I was returning. 

Guess what?

The cashier gave me a refund!!!  

I got my $7 plus change back in cash.

It was a great moment.

Triumphant, even.

I left with the money in my pocket and no paper towels.  I was too tired to walk back there and get them and wait in line.  We've lived since Friday without them, so we can wait til I shop again.

It was never about the paper towels anyway.

It was about doing the right thing and believing in others and justice for all!

It's a small victory, but it was the best part of my day.

the worst part of my day today

Went to WalMart today (aka the Ghetto of the Twighlight Zone)

Bought an 8 pack of Great Value paper towels.  They were 6.97.

I left them in the parking lot in the bottom rack of the cart.

I called WalMart, thinking maybe someone turned in my paper towels.

That was a total waste of time funny. 

I actually thought maybe someone would have had eyes seen me leave them under my cart and maybe that person would have not stolen them taken them back inside.

Now I'm out 6.97 plus tax and I have no paper towels.

I guess if this is the worst part of my day, I'm doing ok.

But it still irks me.

vegetable soup with frys

It snowed several inches here today.

If you are an internet stalker determined to discover the location of KWTFrys, I just narrowed it down for you.

In other news, today I made homemade banana bread with mini chocolate chips.

I also made homemade vegetable soup.  I thought I had a partial bag of frozen corn.  Turns out, it was a bag of crinkle cut french fries.  Ketchupwiththefrys is now vegetablesoupwiththefrys.

photo fail

My sister came to visit yesterday.

We decided to try and get a cute fall photo of our children together.

Easy, right?

This is the best shot we got:

The look on the baby's face says it all....."This is not fun!  Leave us alone!"

So we did.  And we got zero good pictures.  However, we did laugh at the plethora of bad ones that we got. 

I just used the word plethora in a sentence. 

I think everyone should use the word plethora at least once per day.

Anyway, that picture is as good as it got on this particular day.

It's a lot like life.

Sometimes you try for something and it just doesn't turn out that way.

Which reminds me of a one-liner my sister thinks is the funniest one she's ever heard:

4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea....so that means 1 person enjoys it.

Aren't you glad you read KWTFrys?  The plethora of information you get here is unmatched.

Random

So yesterday I was serious.

Now we're back to the regularly scheduled programming that is called KWTF. (Ketchupwiththefrys) Yes, it does have an unfortunate acronym.

Yesterday, Superfrykid and I made a Halloween house.  Kind of like a gingerbread house you make at Christmastime.  Only with orange icing and candy in the shape of bats.

Today we had a photoshoot with Day by Day Photography and it was a great time.  Superfrykid is not the most cooperative person.   However, Day by Day did a great job working with her and making it a pleasant experience with no tears, which is quite an accomplishment.  Can't wait to see the pics!

loving a bargain

I love a bargain.

I love the extreme couponing show.  I'm not that crazy  organized, but I wish I could be.

I like when I buy something on clearance at the end of a season, put it away and then discover it at the appropriate season.

I found some Halloween items I bought on clearance last year at Target.  For some reason, these few items have been a small source of joy to me this year. 

Here's what I found: (because I know you want to know)
1.  Pumpkin string lights
2.  2 Big Pumpkins that light up and are smiley, not scary
3.  A Haunted Halloween Gingerbread House Kit.  Like the ones you make at Christmas, only with candy corn instead of peppermint candy.
4.  Sticky Hands
5.  Puzzles to hand out to tricker treaters
6.  A Baby's First Halloween Bib
7.  A Pair of Orange and Black Striped Tights
8.  A Bale of Fake Hay (this was from Michael's, but I only paid like $1 or something for it - I refuse to pay $10 for fake hay)

The Best Thing I Found That I Forgot I Had:
A sound system that plays 4 preprogrammed Halloween songs (like the Addams family theme song), or it will play from an mp3 player.  You can plug lights into it and it flickers the lights to the beat of the song.  It was originally like $80 or $100, but I paid like $10 for it after Halloween last year.  There is no way this thing is worth what the original price was.  But since I got it cheap, it makes me happy.

I'm hoping that by posting this, it will make me feel like less of a hoarder.  Because I'm not a hoarder.  I'm an extreme clearance shopper.