S'more Butt

Have you been enjoying an early Spring where you live?

I sure am.   I'm not a hot weather kind of girl, but I must admit that I am loving the 70 degree weather in March thing that's been happening around here.

To celebrate, we had a little campfire the other night and made s'mores

I always like the idea of s'mores better than the actual s'mores. 

Here's my issue with s'mores:
The Graham Cracker:  it's just too dry.  Even if you make an open-faced s'more, it's still a lot of graham cracker and it overtakes the chocolate and the marshmallow.

The Chocolate:  there's a fine line that chocolate must walk to be s'more-worthy.  If you just plop a square on at the last minute, it's too hard.  If you try to melt it a little, it becomes too drippy.

The Marshmallow:  obviously this is the most important part.  Everyone has their own preference, each with its own pitfalls.  People who like theirs just lightly toasted have to wait until the party is almost over and the fire is dying down.  If you like it burnt, there's always the danger of flinging a fiery marshmallow into someone's hair if your shake instict kicks in before you can blow it out.  Then there's the sticky part.  I hate for my hands to feel sticky and there is just no getting around the stickiness.

The Fire:  a perfect campfire is a must.  Too much fire is not good.  Too little fire is no fun.  Superfry dad is always in charge of the fire, because clearly that is not my job.  He put a "little" gas on the fire to get it going the other night.  Hence, the fire smelled like a Texaco station about to blow up.

S'mores also make you really thirsty.  The other night, Superfry kid ran inside to get a drink.  Unbeknownst to me, she left her s'more in my chair.  I was standing up on the opposite side of the fire, trying to roast a perfect marshmallow.  After it caught on fire, I came over and sat down in my chair.  But Superfry kid's s'more was there first.

I stood up, thinking I just sat on a graham cracker.  However, the s'more was attached to my butt.  It was now a butt s'more. 

Thankfully, we got a picture.  Here it is. 

Disclaimer:  this may or my not be a real representation of how big my butt is.  They say the camera adds 10 lbs.

I'm pretty sure that a s'more on your butt adds more than 10 lbs.

And yes, I am wearing  high-water sweatpants with socks and sandals.  But you probably didn't notice because I have a giant s'more coming out of my butt crack.

Cupcake Wars

The other day I posted about the Food Network.

I got one comment. 

But hey, that's one more comment than I usually get.

Anyway, the comment inspired me to comment further on something I did not mention:  Cupcake Wars.

If you've never had the pleasure of watching this show, you won't really get this post.  I would suggest dvr'ing Cupcake Wars to watch when your TiVo is empty and then come back and read this later.  Or, just go to another blog that talks about things that interest you. 

The first few times I watched Cupcake Wars, I didn't care for it.  I just didn't see what was so great. 

However, now that I've watched a few times, I kind of like it.

That's not to say I can't find anything to pick at.  I can generally find something to annoy me in just about anything.  Cupcakes Wars is no different.

The host is the Food Network version of the guy who hosts the Bachelor.  Who, by the way, used to host "Designer's Challenge" on HGTV.  I always liked that show. 

Anyway, back to Cupcake Wars.

The host is kind of corny.  I know he only reads the lines that someone has written for him, but let's get real here.  Nobody thinks it's funny.  Just get on with it.

The ingredients are sometimes really gross in the first round.  I've seen cow tongue, absinthe, oysters, and many other ingredients that should never be put in a cupcake. 

The redeeming factor on Cupcake Wars is Florian Bellanger.  He's like the Simon Cowell of Cupcake Wars.  He tells it like it is and he is usually right.

And his name is Florian, which is kind of a cool name.

Bobby Flay can't say "Florian".  He would say "Fwowian".  Just sayin'.

Free Today

So my little blog is not even what most would consider a "real" blog.

I don't have sponsors, I don't do giveaways.

But today all of that is changing.

Today, I ran across an offer from Mob Society via a blog called When You Rise.  They are offering a free e-book about praying for your sons called Warrior Prayers:  Praying the Word for Boys In the Areas They Need It Most. 

By passing on this information to you, my dear reader(s), I will receive the free e-book.  Guess what else?  Since I'm blogging about it, they will also give one to me for one of my readers.

I know what you're thinking.  You don't have boys.

Yes, that's true.

However, I do have a daughter.  I want to know what you moms of boys are praying so I can pray with you.  Hopefully some day, my daughter will find a man she wants to marry and I can only hope that he has a mother who prayed for him as he grew up.

Anyway, I'm kind of excited b/c this makes me feel like my blog is now legit. 

Actually, not really.

If this blog were awesome (more awesome?  awesomer?), I would be giving away something myself, not trying to pass off someone else's giveaway as my own.

But, whatever.  I'm excited about the book.  And I totally plan to pray for my daughter whatever you are praying for your boys. 

Because anything boys can do girls can do better I think all of our children could benefit from our prayers.

And if any of the members or lurkers comment below, I will choose the person I like best to give the extra e-book to. 

I'm fair like that.

food network

I watch the Food Network.  Kind of a lot.

I have some pet peeves.

Here they are:

1.  Bobby Flay's Speech
Have you heard Bobby Flay speak?  It's so annoying.  He can't say "r".  He says "w" for "r" and "l".  So instead of saying "roast beef", he says "woast beef". Or instead of saying "My name is Bobby Flay," he says, "My name is Bobby Fway." You'd think that the big wigs at Food Network would not put him on every single show they air.  Plus, he kind of seems like a jerk and a snob.  A snerk, if you will.

2.  Paula Deen's Sons
I know that her restaurant in Georgia is called "The Lady and Sons".  However, I don't care for her sons, Jamie and Bobby.  They are clearly riding their mother's coattails.  Which is quite a feat, considering her coattails are probably covered in butter, which is slippery.

3.  Rachel Ray & Emeril Lagasse
Do I need to really say what bothers me about them?  I did like both of them at first.  However, now they have become the male and female versions of the most annoying person ever.  And Emeril looks puffy.  If you've seen him on  Bravo's Top Chef, he looks like he's going to literally explode at any moment.  I do have Rachel Ray's cookware and some of  her utensils, and I really like them.  But I'm pretty sure she had nothing to do with it, so she gets no points for that.

4.  Giada DeLaurentiis
I read on another blog (I can't remember where), that she had creepy hands.  I looked and she does.  I can't get over it.  Plus, it's clear she never eats and if she does, she pukes it back up.  And if she is just naturally thin or exercises & eats a healthy diet, then that's even more annoying.  She can't win here.

I'm sure there are other things that are annoying about the Food Network, but they will have to wait until another time.   Excuse me while I go get a snack.  Probably a prepackaged one.  Take that, Bobby Fway.

my neighbor

Remember the TV show "Home Improvement", with Tim Allen? 

Remember Wilson, the neighbor guy who gave advice to Tim over the fence?

Well, I don't have a neighbor like that.

Technically, I don't really have any neighbors.  Most people would say I live in the boonies.

However, at the beginning of our driveway, a mile and a half away, there are a few houses.  I consider them my neighbors since they are the people who live closest to me.

Today I was coming home and passed a truck with 2 men inside.  I noticed that the truck did not have a license plate.  Our road is a gravel road and all types of 4-wheelers, dirt bikes and trucks seem to think it is a raceway for unlicensed motor vehicles, so it's not uncommon to pass a strange car or truck.

As I continued on, I saw a 4-wheeler ahead of me.  It was my neighbor.  He turned around at the bottom of my driveway, waved & went back out.   I unloaded some groceries and went inside.

A little while later, my phone rang.  It was my neighbor.  He said he was calling to check on me because he had passed that truck AGAIN on his way home.  The truck had turned around and come back my way and he wanted to make sure I was ok. 

Isn't that nice?

It kind of made my day.

Thank you, neighbor-who-watches-out-for-bad-guys-and-patrols-my-road-on-his-4-wheeler. 

Sorry, I couldn't think of a name for him.  Wilson was already taken, and The Watcher sounds like a bad horror movie. Maybe Superneighborman?

ode to orange sherbert

One of the benefits I enjoy as a school lunch lady is that I get to eat school lunch everyday. 

Shout out to the cooks at my school - they are very hardworking and go the extra mile for the students and staff. 

Anyway, this week was a good week in terms of school lunch because one day we had SHERBERT!

And a choice of sherbert at that.  Lime or orange. 

I chose orange.

I haven't had sherbert in probably YEARS. 

It was so delicious.

So today I went to the grocery store & bought a big container of it.  Nobody else knows it's in the freezer. 

I feel like I have a special secret nobody knows about.

The only bad thing about sherbert is that I hate when people spell it "sherbet". 

All other things about sherbert are wonderful. 

That's my ode to sherbert. 

What's your favorite frozen dessert?  (See that?  That question is my attempt at being a "real" blogger who fishes for comments.  I really don't care too much about your favorite frozen dessert, but if you feel like it, leave it here.  Certainly it's more exciting than orange sherbert.)

chinchilla

We used to have a chinchilla.

I was reminded of him by a friend's blog post about her pet rats.

If you don't know what a chinchilla is, look it up.  Basically, they kind of look like a rat/rabbit/squirrel/guinea pig.  Their fur is super duper soft and for some reason, we decided to buy one when we were first married.  We had no children and it seemed like a good idea.  Plus, we both made approximately $7 per hour, so the $200 we spent on it seemed like nothing.  Obviously, we are champions in the budgeting department.  Why Dave Ramsey never called us to be his poster children is beyond me.  But I digress.

So our chinchilla's name was Garth.  Garth lived in a cage in our basement.  Sometimes we would let him out to run around.  He was super fast and when he would get going really good, he would jump REALLY high and literally bounce off the walls.  (According to Wikipedia, they can jump up to 6 feet high.)  I only let him out when Superfrydad was home, because he was the only one who could catch the little booger.  The trick to catching him was to grab him by the tail & hang him upside down so he couldn't bite you with his little beaver teeth.

One night, I was home alone.  Superfrydad was working night shift.  I was in bed, half-asleep, and I thought I heard footsteps.  So of course, I just opened my eyes ever so slightly to try and appear still sleeping to any would be murderers.  I lay there listening and then I saw something MOVE.  Really fast.  And it wasn't a mouse.  It was bigger.  It was Garth.

It took me forever to catch him.  I finally threw a towel over him and caught him.  I don't like to touch animals if I can avoid it.  Even soft ones that people use to make coats out of.

Chasing a chinchilla around in the middle of the night is not my idea of a good time.  He's a lucky chinchilla that I didn't throw the towel in the washing machine ....let's just say he's a lucky chinchilla because he didn't bite me and I was able to safely place him back into his cage. 

That's my chinchilla tale.  The end.

garbage disposal

I do not have a garbage disposal.

I'm okay with that.

We kind of live in the boonies, so we just go out onto the deck and fling our scraps into the yard, and our dog eats them.  If you've never met our dog, he is a man's man kind of dog.  His name is Woodrow.  That's his real name, since I don't feel the need to protect his identity.  Woodrow eats anything.  He is a big, hairy beast of a dog who has never gotten sick from any table scraps.  At least, not that I know of.  He never comes inside, so if he's outside puking or pooping all over the place, I'm okay with that because I do not have to see it, smell it, nor clean it up. 

My current favorite cereal is Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds.  Not sure if you've ever eaten this cereal, but it gets mushy kind of quick, therefore, there are usually quite a few floating bits left. 

However, when I eat cereal, it's either early in the morning or late at night and I don't feel like going outside.  So instead of flinging the mush from the deck, I just pour the milk down the sink. 

Then the milk sits in the strainer and won't go down because of all of the mush.

Then I have to MacGuyver it and turn into a garbage disposal.  (Note:  If you are counting, that's two times I've used MacGuyver as a verb on this blog.)

So I take my spoon and chop up the mush so it goes down the drain.

No, I do not make a whirring noise while I chop with the spoon. 

That's my garbage disposal. 

Thankfully, my husband is a handyman so if I clog it up too badly, he can fix it.  However, I will then have to find a new favorite cereal.  That, or get a real garbage disposal.

word to your mother

Other titles for this post include:
Ode to my mom
I love my mom
Da bomb mom

It's not Mother's Day, it's not my mom's birthday.  It's not really any special day, but I just feel the need to publicly give props to my mom.

There have been times when I am sure that she wanted to shake me or throw me from a moving train over a trestle like in Water for Elephants.   But she never did.  (Thankfully)

I take it for granted that my mom lives nearby.  I take it for granted that my mom is healthy.  I take it for granted that I can call her up at 10:00 on a Saturday morning and she will be over in an hour, ready to go to Kohl's and Aldi.

She understands me unlike anyone else.
She loves my daughter unlike anyone else.
She is my mom and I am thankful.

Love you, mom.

American Idol

I've been "watching" American Idol this season.  And by "watching", I mean recording it and then fast forwarding through a good bit of it.

Last night, they chose the Top 13.  America voted for the Top Ten, and then the judges chose 6 to come back and sing in order to choose 3 more.   Follow me?

The 6 people chosen to come back and sing for their lives were:

1.  Jen Hirsch - she is a great singer, but when they showed the clip of her with her "family vineyard", it made me not want to root for her.  I like an underdog.  I'm not sure why I equate family vineyard with a non-underdog, but I do.  I think America agreed with me.   A good choice by the judges to give her another chance because based on her voice alone, she deserved it.

2.  Jeremy Rosado - he is a great singer, likeable, and kind of an underdog.  Good choice.

3.  Brielle Von Hugel - she seems like a spoiled brat.  And she did not sing well.  And her mom was obnoxious.  I guess the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.  Bad choice by the judges to even give her another chance.  They should have given a chance to Adam Brock aka "White Chocolate".

4.  Deandre Brackensick - am I the only one who does not like his singing?  I don't know what all of the  hype is about him.  Plus, he flicks his hair in quite an annoying manner.   And by annoying, I mean super duper flicking a la Willow Smith.  Bad choice by the judges to bring him back.  I liked Aaron Marcellus better.

5.  Erika Van Pelt - I really like her voice.  Seems to be down to earth and confident. She totally deserved another chance and the spot in the Top 13. 

6.  Reed Grimm - I think he actually is talented.  However, he knows it and is annoying about it.  The drums, the taking off of the outer shirt, the giant fake smiling...it's too much.  Plus, he looks like the worm from The Labyrinth.  Google it if you don't know what that is.  Wait.  If you don't know The Labyrinth, you won't get it, so just nevermind.  Just take my word for it that he looks like a wrinkly worm with a British accent.

I don't have enough time to discuss the rest, but let me just say that when HeeJun is voted off, I will be greatly disappointed.  He is hilarious and quite possibly the best part of American Idol this year.