more schmucket list

I thought of something else I can't do that I can add to my Schmucket List.

I can't drive a stick shift.

I hate to admit that, because it makes me feel like I'm lazy or not very smart, but it's true.

And as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that if I can only think of a few things I can't do, then I must be awesome at everything else!!!

Which is not true, but for some reason, it's hard to think of more things.

I'm sure I will add more later, but for now, that's it.

princess bride

The Princess Bride is probably the best. movie. ever.

I guess I shouldn't say "probably" and "the best" at the same time because it kind of diminishes the awesomeness that "the best" should convey.

But it probably is.

I've found that there is a kinship between people who love the movie that those who haven't or who have but just think it's okay don't really have.

Here's a little list with values you can add and subtract to score yourself to see how much you really like the Princess Bride.

When someone says "My name is....", you immediately think, "Inigo Montoya.  You killed my father.  Prepare to die." +5
+5 more if you say it out loud instead of just thinking it.
-10 if you try to say that and don't do it right

When someone says the word "marriage", your brain says "mawwage" +3
+5 if you giggle to yourself
-10 if you don't know what I'm talking about

+20 if you know what an MLT is

-20 if you think the Princess Bride is animated

+15 if you know what an R.O.U.S is

-5 if you just tried to figure out what the letters stand for and then remembered.  Points given only if you know immediately.  Otherwise, you are not a true fan.

That's it.  There are more but if you didn't get any of that, I lost you a long time ago.

to death

People like to say things like:

I laughed myself to death.

I was bored to death.

I ran myself to death.

I've found myself saying this lately more than I realized I ever did.

I am annoying myself to death with it.

I just did it again.

When I hear other people reference death, I tend to prickle up a little bit and sometimes have the urge to shake them a little.

I know it's just a figure of speech, but it bothers me.

I feel like we should take it seriously and be offhanded about it.

Death is serious stuff, right?

Just on my mind & wanted to throw it out there.

Sorry if I bored you to death.

But I guess if I did, then you won't be reading the sorry part because you already kicked the bucket and last time I checked, dead people don't read. 

real ketchup=my kids new room

Our house is very small.  The bedrooms are tiny.  We chose the smallest one to use as a nursery and then it just morphed into a bedroom.  The other one, the "bigger" one - if you count slightly larger than a really tiny one "bigger", we used as a toy room. 

So now that superfrykid (I gotta get some better pseudo-nicknames around here, but that's all I've got for now).....anyway, now that superfrykid is almost in 1st grade, we decided she needed to switch rooms.

The toy room had a super wide wallpaper border around the entire room, which I removed in about 6 hours with a sponge and a Pampered Chef stone scraper thing.  And the toy room was painted a yellow-orange kind of color. 

Did I mention I used a Pampered Chef stone scraper to remove a ton of wallpaper? 

We painted over the orange-yellow with "Lime Rickey" from Sherwin Williams.  It's kind of a cross between lime green and Kermit green. 

Because we're subtle like that.

Anyway, surprising us all, the room is turning out pretty cute.

My sister Pee (Yes, that is her real nickname) bought the owl pillow for her because I said no because I thought it was too expensive.  Turns out, it kind of makes the room.  Thank you, my sister!  Love the owl.

bipolar marriage

The other day my hubby & I were arguing....I mean, talking, and he said this to me:

"I really think you are bipolar."

I told someone this and they asked, "Was he serious?"

To which I replied, "Yes, totally!"  

And I'm not sure if the person's facial expression was genuine surprise or if it was masked horror whilst their brain was calculating the fastest route to the exit.

I must be crazy because I think I just used the word "whilst" in a sentence.

Anyway, back to the bipolar marriage issue.

Sometimes you don't know if your marriage is having a "taking it's meds" kind of day or if it's super crazy pants day where everything is sure to be hysterical (and I don't mean the funny kind of hysterical).

We have been married almost 17 years.  You'd think we could coast at this point.   No, no....17 years is when the relational mental illness sets in. 

And you know what? 

I kind of like crazy.

outcommented by a dog

I posted on fb that I was home from vacation and mentioned that I had been sick and had to go to the doctor while out of town and got a shot in the butt, a zpack, eye drops, and cough syrup.  Then I posted this picture of my dog getting his annual haircut:

I got 2 comments on my "home from vaca/sick while I was there" post. 

 One was from my mother in law.  The other was from my mother.

I got like 9 comments on the dog shaving picture.  Within like 5 minutes.

I got outcommented by a dog. 

I think I'll go feed my cat because clearly I am on the same level as the crazy cat lady we all know.



pioneer woman

I like the Pioneer Woman.  I really do. 

Her blog is one that I read often and I like to think that she is a genuinely funny and nice person.

But as with all things, I can always find something to pick at, even if it's something I like.

So here goes:

PW has too many pics of her dog's crotch on there.  It's just uncomfortable after a while.

The ratio of animal pics (dog/cattle/horse/cat) vs. people pics is skewed.  In my world, animals should not garner as much or more attention as people. 

The Marlboro Man thing is kind of cute & funny until you realize she actually wrote a book about the way they met, etc. etc....which kind of makes me think PW sold out a long time ago.

She's too "city" to call herself Pioneer Woman.  Anyone who can say that an eyeliner that costs $50 is awesome has clearly not assimilated into ranch life.

She constantly says she's fat, has alien hands, and makes fun of her past fashion choices.  Clearly, she's not fat, her hands are fine and who hasn't made a bad fashion choice in the past?  This gets on my nerves.  You should have to have a permit to say you're fat because it's one of my biggest pet peeves when people who are not fat say they are fat....but I digress.

Anyway, since I only have 13 followers, none of which will be offended by my Pdub bashing, I felt I could let this out.  If someone from the PW camp comes lurking around KFryville and finds something they don't like, well, that's just AWESOME because it means my tiny little blog got a hit from PW! 

I mean, if someone doesn't like what I say, then they can go read the Pioneer Woman.  Clearly she's doing something right.  Even if it's mostly just creepy pictures of basset hounds and recipes for things that contain a lot of butter.