skinny snacks

I saw this list on Pinterest the other day......"50 Snacks Under 50 Calories" - categorized by craving.

So, being a fat girl who would rather pin than exercise because I am always on the lookout for new ideas on how to be healthy, I had to check it out.

Number one on the list sounded ok:
Sweet craving?  Try 1/2 of a medium apple, baked, with 1 Tbsp. lowfat yogurt sprinkled with cinnamon.  Only 45 calories.  
Let me just be honest here & say that I would probably eat a whole baked apple, with just a pat of butter and some brown sugar and cinnamon.  Then I would eat a container of yogurt later because I would feel guilty & somehow in my mind I think that the yogurt cancels out the apple with butter and brown sugar. Plus, the original recipe called for yogurt but that doesn't sound good on a baked apple.  Hot and cold together is only appealing if it's a hot brownie with cold ice cream.  But let's not talk about that right now.

Moving down the list to number 14:
Salty craving?  Try a pretzel rod for 37 calories.
I'm sorry, but has anyone ever eaten ONE pretzel rod?
Anyone?  Anyone?  Beuller?  Beuller?
Pretzels are the skinny cousin of potato chips.  Yes, they are fat free, but if you eat a whole plastic barrel-thing of them, isn't that kind of the same thing as just going ahead and eating a regular portion of the chips you really wanted in the first place?

Here's another one that listed under  "Cheesy Whizzes":
1 large tomato, sliced, topped with 1 Tbsp Parmesan, broiled (44 calories)
First of all, I don't like raw tomatoes.
Spaghetti sauce, yes.
Ketchup, yes. Hello?  Ketchup with the Frys?
I'm good with the Parmesan, but then it loses me again at the "broiled" part.  If I am heating my oven to broil, then I'm making a Ribeye or heating up frozen boneless buffalo wings.

Lastly, the one that REALLY got me:
1 medium water packed sardine topped with slice of red onion (35 calories)
I think I'd rather eat a booger on top of a piece of sugar free gum.
I mean, really?  A MEDIUM WATER PACKED SARDINE???????  WITH RED ONION???????  I'd like to meet the waif anorexic oldmantrucker person who would actually eat this as a snack.  And if that person is skinny, I'd like to know if their food tastes as good as skinny feels.  Because I doubt it.  And if they say yes, they are a liar.  And I hope their size 0 pants catch on fire.