schmucket list

I don't have a bucket list.

I have a schmucket list.

It's a list of things that most people can do, but I cannot. 

It's not really a list of things I want to accomplish.  More like things I've come to realize I will probably never do.  A schmucket list.

Here are a few things that my schmucket list contains. 

1. Do a cartwheel. 
2. Rollerskate.
3. Swim in water over my head.

I mean, who doesn't know how to rollerskate? 

What's on your schmucket list?