the disappearing dead bug

I hate crickets.

Their noises are maddening.  Especially when it's just one cricket screeching away while you are trying to sleep.   Worse than Chinese water torture.

The way they crawl gives me the heebie jeebies.  They're supposed to jump.  They creep me out when they crawl.  It's like they are trying to be sneaky.  gross.

And they are hard to kill because you can't just stomp them like you can a spider.
They have too many guts that squirt out.

I lightly stepped on one the other day in my basement.  Enough to kill.  Not enough to squish.  I left it for superfrydad to dispose of because I don't touch them.

Later I went back downstairs and the cricket was gone. 

I hate when you kill a bug & then it disappears. 

One time my sister, Pee (yes, that's her real nickname) trapped a huge spider under a glass so her hubby (SonofaDutch) could kill it when he got home. 

She went back later only to find that the giant spider had lifted up the cup and escaped.  It probably went straight under her pillow to make a nest. 

And one time I saw something out of the corner of my eye while I was at my computer desk.  My brain said, "Oh look, there's a little frog" and I started to reach for it. 

Then I realized it was a spider. 

And it disappeared.  I looked everywhere and could not find it.

I can't stand to think about bugs that you only semi-kill or can't find to kill.  They are somewhere, lingering, just waiting to crawl inside your mouth while you are sleeping.  eeeewww.

Seahorse dads

Seahorses are really the only fathers that should be recognized for Father's Day.

I mean, Mother's Day is for those who have pushed out a baby or had their guts sliced open never to regain feeling there again.

What do Father's do on the day they become dads?  Stand there and eat a tunafish sandwich?  (that's a shout out to Day by Day, whose husband actually ate a tunafish sub while she was in major labor.  not cool.  not cool.)

Seahorse dads should at least get props for carrying their babies.

It should be Seahorse Day instead of Father's Day. 

Why do men think they need a day too?

I mean, you can't do what you do for moms on Mother's Day.
Breakfast in bed doesn't count because that happens all the time. (well, ok, it happens more than once a year.  which is more than it happens for moms.)
Flowers are a no go, because what man wants flowers?
Sappy cards or handcrafted jewelry boxes or picture frames are simply not appreciated, so why bother?
Anything that they would want is too expensive.  ATVs, guns, powertools, trucks, etc. are way out of my price range. 

Guess what I got my dad?  A S'mores kit.  Because he has a little fire pit that he thinks is cool.  I got him little telescoping marshmallow sticks, Hershey Bars, Graham Crackers, and the new square marshmallows. 

He pulled out the graham crackers first & said, "oooh, graham crackers!  I like those."
He seriously thought I bought him graham crackers for Father's Day. 

I actually had to explain it to him.  He asked me how you toast the graham crackers and the chocolate.  Apparently he has never had s'mores before.  How can you be 59 years old and not know how to make s'mores?

So my point is, why bother? 
Moms appreciate Mother's Day because they remember the pain and the agony of childbirth. 
Father's Day just doesn't have quite the same umph.

Happy Seahorse Day.

PS - The previously expressed view are completely fictional.  I think Father's Day is great.  Dads are great and deserve the same credit as moms.  And I firmly believe that you don't have to push out a baby or get your gut cut to be a mother.  Some of the best mothers have never been pregnant a day in their life. 

All that being said, Mother's Day is still kind of more important than Father's Day in the big scheme of holidays, dontcha think?

crazy cat lady of bloggerville

Everybody knows a crazy cat lady.

Nobody wants to be a crazy cat lady.

So I'm wondering if I blog every day, is that the equivalent of being a crazy cat lady? 

Is it cooler to blog less often so you look like you are otherwise occupied? 

You know, if you don't have a post for every day, you look like you are busy with your fabulous life.  If you post everyday, you *might* look like a crazy cat lady who sits in her house all day watching infomercials.

But for me, blogging is like exercise.  I miss one day and then I'm like, "la, la, la...didn't do that yesterday, so I might as well skip today!"

But if I start turning into the crazy cat lady of bloggerville, I hope somebody will tell me. 

Or at least drop a hint.  Something subtle, like, "your blog sucks", might work.

summertime means crap and flies

So the season of summer is officially here.

Here's how I know:
1.  It's hot.
2.  The flies.

We have 2 goats and about 5 or 6 cows, plus their calves.  If you are unfamiliar with the joys of owning livestock, let's just say that one of the un-joys is manure.

Who says manure, anyway?  Call it like it is, people.  Crap. (Ketchupwiththefrys is a family show, so if you are thinking sh__, then you might need to check out some other lame blog that sprinkles a cuss word here and there so you feel like you're edgy.)

Anyway.....back to the crap.  Where there is crap, there are flies.  Lots of flies.

Our doors open and close approximately a zillion times per day.  They remain open longer than they need to approximately 18 minutes per day.  This lets in approximately 10 flies per day.  Maybe more.

Anyway, I have a fly swatter and I keep it handy when summertime rolls around because I hate flies in the house.  You'd think I'd be a super-ninja with a fly swatter by now.  No.

I creep up on the fly as it sits rubbing it's gross little front legs together.  You know how they do.  So gross.  Anyway, I take my time and aim, with no sudden movements.  I ALWAYS miss. 

Then I swing the fly swatter around like I'm a octopus fencing champion thinking I can hit it as it flies away.

Sometimes I get lucky & get a slow fly.  You know the kind.  The ones that just sit there and let you kill them.  Not sure if they are drunk on poop and their motor skills are not up to par, or what. 

But it's satisfying nontheless to kill a fly, even if it's a dumb one that your 6 year old could have killed with a flip flop. 

Hopefully, my summer will improve and I will have better things to blog about than killing flies.

tractor tires in your yard

Why do people use tractor tires as yard decorations?

Here are some ways I've seen them used:

Flower garden planters.  What makes anyone think that this somehow makes your flowers more beautiful?

Driveway "lions".   You know, like 2 tires standing up on either side of the driveway.  It's like a white trash version of stone pillars.

Playground equipment.  When I was in elementary school, we had about 4 different sizes of them painted different colors stuck upright in the ground.  We hid inside them, climbed up using the treads as handles, and jumped from one to the other.  It sucked when you jumped on the one that was not very sturdy because you'd leap with all your might only to find yourself landing on not so solid ground.  The wimpy tire would lean over or buckle under you and you'd think, "Oh crap, I forgot this was the sucky one."

I guess maybe using tractor tires as yard decorations could be considered "green" since it's better than the alternative of illegally dumping them on someone else's property.  But still, being "green" is a poor excuse for dorkiness that has no cure, which is what you have if you have tractor tires as yard decorations.

sprinkler vs. robot dance moves

If the sprinkler is your best dance move, you might be my daughter. 
This picture is from my niece's wedding last Saturday.
Note everyone laughing at her in the background.
She was all about the dancing.
Her go to move was the sprinkler.  However, she did incorporate some robot.



She even grabbed the available 6 year olds and forced them to dance with her.

A happy day for everyone.

The sprinkler moves were just the icing on the cake.

yeah, I'm asking you a question

I read that if you want your blog to succeed, you're supposed to engage the reader by asking a question. 

Is it just me, or is that kind of silly?  I mean, there's a comment button right there.  Should I really have to ask a question for you to think of something to say?

If you read a post and have a thought, then click the comment button and type something. 

If you read a post and have no thoughts, then you are brain dead & your comment would probably not be very interesting for anyone else to read, so it saves us all time when you don't type a comment.

When I read a blog with a question at the end, it makes me not want to respond.  Because I know that this is what the blogger wants me to do.  I'm not so great with wanting to do things that are expected of me.

I think that if you are writing a blog, you should be interesting enough to spark a comment here or there without asking the token question.

Wait....now that I look back and see the pitiful number of responses I have on my blog, maybe I will turn to the dark side and pose a question in order to fish for responses.

So, today's question is:  If a person spells "ketchup" as "catsup", should you be able to punch them in the face without warning?