hotter than a fart in a mitten

It's really hot & humid outside.

Therefore, the air conditioner that cools my home decided it would stop working today.

Tomorrow and the next day are supposed to be 99 and 100 degrees, respectfully.  (I'm too lazy to figure out how to make the little 0 thing for the degrees.)

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that I don't like hot weather.  And I don't like summer.

But when my A/C stops working in the middle of a heat wave?

Summer, I hate you even more.

My feet have sweat dripping from them.  That is not even an exaggeration.  I know it sounds like it, but it is actually true. 
I'm also trying to type fast because I'm afraid the sweat from my hands is going to short-circuit my laptop at any moment.

The only thing that I like about summer is that is gives me more opportunities to say "It's hotter than a fart in a mitten." 

This is perhaps my favorite phrase of all time.  It always makes me laugh. 

Is it inappropriate?  yes
Is it a bit crass?  yes
Is it kind of rude?  yes
Is it the worst thing I say?  pretty much
Is that so terrible?  maybe.......or maybe it's not.  It really depends on your level of tolerance for potty humor. 

I would like to say that I am much more sophisticated than this, but alas, I am not.