Tuesday, May 31, 2011

pseudo-ketchup

So, if you (and by you, I mean my family) want to Ketchup with the Frys, here's what's happening in our neck of the woods: (said in my Al Roker voice)

Not much.

And really.  If you are my family, I hope you know what's going on without having to look at my blog.  If you are my family and you are here to "ketchup", you are probably what I would call a mus"turd" family member because obviously you don't care enough about us to call or visit.  Just kidding, that sounded totally mean and like it was directed to someone specific.  It's not, I just wanted to make the mus"turd" joke.

I really did intend this to be a cute little family blog with nice pictures of us and cute little stories about superfrykid, and frydaddy and me (frymomma).  However, I just don't feel like that at the moment. 

PS-Why do bloggers feel the need to give their family members pseudo-names?  Like Marlboro Man.  It does kind of work for PDub and all, but for regular dorkoblogs like this one, is that really necessary?  I'm not sure.  Safety and privacy are of course top priority, but I have to say, if I was reading this and heard myself refer to me as frymomma, I might roll my eyes a little.  In fact, I am kind of gagging now.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Fool Me Once, Shame on You

If one of my facebook “friends” posts song lyrics as their status, it bothers me. 

My rule is, lyric me once, I’m irritated. 

Lyric me twice, I’m angry. 

Lyric me three times, you get blocked. 

But then again, if you were my real friend, and not just a facebook nosy person who is an acquaintance, you would know that.  And also, my real friends would never post song lyrics or it would not be possible for us to be friends in the first place.

I think that blocking is the way to go here.  I rarely unfriend because clearly, someone who posts song lyrics may at some other time post something really hilarious that I might want to go check out and secretly make fun of.  I have other real friends who will let me know when these events happen. 

This way, since I have only blocked the person and not unfriended them, I can avoid the unnecessary song lyrics but I still have the benefit of the hilariousness of facebook.

And with that said, let me close with these words...."Did you ever know that you're my hero?  You're everything I wish I could be.  I can fly higher than an eagle...for you are the wind beneath my...." oh wait, I hate that word.  See my post from yesterday.  (I'm not swift enough yet to put the link here.)

Sunday, May 29, 2011

The word "Wings" has a bad connotation for me

So for my first post, I decided the appropriate label would be "pet peeve".  As I was thinking about what I could post for my second stellar blog entry, I could only think of pet peeves.  This blogging thing is great for venting about life's little frustrations.  Which, by the way, aren't the little things almost worst to deal with than big things?

Anyway, for some reason, I thought of the word "WINGS."  I'm pretty sure it's one of my least favorite words.  It makes me think of Bette Midler, Linda McCartney, and pantiliners.  Not a great combination of connotations, in my opinion.  Not that any of those things are bad.  Beaches is one of my favorite movies, Linda gets a free pass because Paul loved her, and a pantiliner that doesn't bunch is a wonderful thing.  It's just thinking of them all at the same time makes me feel a little uncomfortable. 

Which brings me to another thing I think about when I hear the word "wings."

I've gained a good deal of weight over the past few years and I'm starting to get what I call "fat wings."  It's not like a Victoria's Secret Model's wings - you know, the big white wings they wear in the commercials that look like they weigh more than the models do.  It's the back fat under your shoulders than creates a less than flattering "wing" that pops out when you least expect it. 

I try to keep my arms down most of the time so as not to hit someone with the flabby top part.  (Plus, I sweat a lot, so arms down is like second nature to me.)  However, keeping your arms pinned to your sides becomes a problem because if you try to flatten your arms against your body and try to hide your huge upper arms, the "fat wings" start to pop out in the back. 

Lots of women complain about their thighs rubbing together and say they are fat.  Let me tell you, even skinny girls can have that happen sometimes.  Fat wings are another thing altogether. 

You know it's getting bad when you sit down and you can feel your fat wings touch your muffin tops.

Just one more reason I don't really like the word "wings".....because I don't need to hear the word to be reminded that I have fat wings.  All I have to do is sit down and feel the fat wings flutter (or pudge....can pudge be used as a verb?)

Get it? Ketchup with the Frys

Wanted to start a blog.  Here it is.  Ketchup with the Frys.  I know, I should quit now.

But first let me explain.  See my last name is Fry.  Seems like an easy last name to have, considering some that I've seen (Krapsho being the worst, if you're wondering.  Sorry Kelly, in case you ever happen to read this.  But you did marry "up" in terms of a new last name, so it's all good.  Except when you have to use your maiden name on credit card crap & the like.)

Anyhoo, back to my last name.  Fry.  Seems like an easy name to have.  Not so my friend. 

Call ahead seating at Outback: 
"Last Name?" 
"Fry" 
"How do you spell that?"

Are you kidding me?  How many ways do you think there ARE to spell Fry?  AND, does it really matter on the little dry erase board on the hostess stand?  Just write it how you think it's spelled.

So anyway, I spell it for them and then I peek at the list when we get there.  99.9% of the time the dry erase board on the hostess stand says "F-R-Y-E".   Now I have nothing against people with the last name of Frye.  But they make my life difficult because whenever I am asked what my last name is by people who are writing or typing it, I am forced to respond with "F-R-Y - no E!"  Then the person writing or typing looks at me like "do I look like an idiot?" because I just spelled a 3 letter word to them. 

However, based upon my experience, if I merely say "F-R-Y", the other person invariably says "No E?" like they are disappointed.  Frankly, this then ticks me off.  I don't like to be questioned when I know I am right.  Particularly when it comes to spelling my own last name, which happens to be only 3 letters. 

I'm pretty sure if my name was FRYE then I would have said E after I said Y. 

I'm also pretty sure if you are reading this blog, you know about the no E.  However, if this thing ever gets viral or global or blogtacular or whatever, then the readers will need to know.

As far as the ketchup part goes....my intent is to post updates about our life so you can catch up (ketchup) on what's going on around here.  If you didn't figure that out before I just told you, then you probably should stop reading blogs and go back to 3rd grade to learn about homonyms.  Although I'm not really sure if catch up/ketchup counts as a real homonym, so maybe I'm the stupid one.

And, also, I hate when people spell ketchup as "catsup".  Sounds like a syrup made of pureed cats.  Gross.